I freak out over the smallest of things.
Seriously. I should not be freaking out over what I am going to eat at the book fair tomorrow.
I love the book fair and I love going out with my friends but knowing them they will make me eat at lunchtime. I can maybe get away with an excuse if I'm lucky but it's hard.
I don't want to eat something without knowing the calorie content.
It's not safe. And I might binge. The only safe way for me is not to eat. But I can't do that either.
What should I do?
And I'm worrying over birthday cake already.
Today I weighed 107.5lbs.
I had 461 calories.
I feel full.
And when I feel full I feel fat.
Sounds so damn cliche, right?
I really want 105lbs by the end of the week.
I'm afraid of plateauing as well. Or going on another binge wave. What I call a "binge wave" is one or two weeks of indulging myself. Being too lenient. Calories going up to 1000-2000 calories - "normal people amount".
I had a pack of Maltesers today. I was within my calorie limit but I still felt guilty. I had chocolate! Junk food!
I want to throw up. All the time. And I don't have the guts to do it.
Such a coward.
My head is going to explode someday from all the numbers swirling around.
Bella: Nice to meet you!
Thanks for your advice - I'll take it. I don't know much about biology so it's great with a bunch of you here :)
I don't really need to lose weight quickly, I just feel guilty eating so much.
Take care too!
Love,
Christie
I read Bellas comment I agree, just stay at 500 or less for as long as you can, because 300 is just too low & your body really can't tell the difference when you're at such a low calorie intake to begin with.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I also wouldn't worry about eating with your family in Australia or birthday cake! Just eat your meals that you must eat with them, & fill up on all the "good foods" they offer, if there's vegetables or fruit, just take a tiny bit of everything else and load your plate up with vegetables or fruit, and then if there's dessert say you're really fully, or just say you want a small piece & eat a few bites, enjoy yourself with your family!
<3