Fucking health clinic. I hate that fucking place and that goddamn doctor.
I have to visit that place every year.
Last year she bitched at me for gaining weight and this year she did the same because I'm losing weight. WTF?! Make up your mind.
Now I'm not speaking to my dad.
Before you say anything, Sammy, I know that he wants the best for me. I know that.
But I'm losing weight! My parents have tried to get me to lose weight for three fucking years!
He's worried that I might become anorexic. Ha. Me? I don't think so, not with everything I binge on...then again I'm no expert on EDs.
And hey, I eat. Less, but I eat. Under his fucking orders I have to.
Hence ridiculous amount of calories today. 927 calories. Yup.
Yes, I did eat two popsicles but that was before I knew that I was going to be force-fed dinner.
Yes, I am ranting for something that I should be grateful for.
Self-hatred comes nowhere near what I am feeling.
500 tomorrow? I don't know...there's the anime convention. I don't know whether to give myself 500 or 700.
I don't want to give up. My weight is 106lbs. And I am unsatisfied.
Sammy: I realize that, but some days I'm just so sick of my mum. I know she means well. Most people do. You do.
Ah but I am not losing.
I'm always lazy so don't worry too much. I'm so glad you'll be here.
It's great that you're smiling :) yay
Commenting tomorrow y'all.
Love,
Christie
I don't think you should worry much about what other people think of your weight, I mean of course you should listen to your doctor, because they are there to take care of you and try to make sure you're healthy. But as far as your parents, their probably just concerned because they love you & care about you. But you take care of however you feel, don't let other peoples opinion affect your opinion of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHope you're doing good & I think your intake today was great! Whether you like to think so or not!
Keep your head up beautiful<3