TW: Post-fasting

The fast was pretty easy, up until 2 am last night anyway.
It went well, I felt tempted a few times to go and buy chips (crisps) and whatnot but I ended up not eating anything so I would say it went fairly well up to this point.
In the middle of the night I had a stomachache. Thankfully (or not) I was awake - sewing in my room because I only start becoming sleepy around 2:45am. I'm not sure whether the fact that I was awake made it any better. I immediately put all needles away - so that basically means 5 minutes of trying not to curl up in pain and rushing to pack up all my pins and needles and thread.
I then spent a few minutes trying to ease the pain by curling myself up into a ball to no avail.
So I ran to the toilet - I was feeling a little dizzy by this time but I was still conscious. And then I stayed in the toilet for 20 minutes. And then went back to sewing.

I had weighed 114lbs after dinner on Sunday - Italian food is one of my weaknesses. That of course upset me greatly but also motivated me to fast. And well I was back to 110lbs this morning. I hope I maintain the weight or lose - I really hate gaining weight because I know it's within my control to lose the damned weight but I'm just too lazy to and I don't have enough self control (yes, it is ironic that I had just said in the same sentence that it was within my control and that I didn't have enough self control).

Today...726 calories. I'm not pleased with the number. I'll give myself 600 tomorrow but it's back down to 500 after that. I found this recipe for yemas - a Spanish custard-esque treat. It's basically egg yolk and condensed milk (1 yolk : 100g condensed milk) mixed together then cooked on low heat until it thickens. I love it because it's fairly cheap but a serving has 132 calories which makes me hesitate a little (one serving uses one yolk). Alternatively use the ratio of one egg yolk to 50g condensed milk, it still would taste pretty good :) That would be 96 calories, which is much better, although I usually make 2 servings in one go - still, it's less calories than the average chocolate bar and also heavy and fulfilling :)

I'm planning to visit the gym sometime this week, but my days have become more packed now because of homework and tutoring classes (I'm taking extra chemistry classes because I'd probably fail chem. Now I'd probably fail math.) and mock tests which lead to extra revision. Le sigh.

Today started out fine and then I just became more and more tired and I don't think I have any other emotions anymore. I'm not happy or sad or anything, I'm just tired. Yet I can't fall asleep until 3 hours later so might as well work on my French homework.

I've put a trigger warning up for those in recovery. My sincere apologies if any of my previous content was triggering, I didn't realize that because I thought it'd be okay since I didn't have an ED. Sorry :( but it's here now :D

Song recommendation today is All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor. I realize it's a little ironic for me to love this song so much but I'm not really in the mood to care.

Sammy: Not really petite at all, not really. I'm the heaviest girl in my homeroom class.
I'm trying not to worry about it - I think counting calories is one of the things that I do automatically and freak out about a lot because the numbers stay on my mind all the time.
I guess a piece of homework or two won't hurt - my mum wouldn't nag at me to study (or would nag less) - but I'm a really bad procrastinator.
You have a good day too dear :)

Bella: I didn't drink coke - I was running out of money :(
I like the taste of coke zero more and we don't have pepsi max here - I had some in Australia though.
Does a clear liquid fast mean only water?
Oh, then 96% would be really good :) compared to the previous levels, that is.
10% of what you do now...so 50 calories? Oh my. I think even just my dinner would be over 50 calories O_O I think I could last 3 days max before I go crazy and binge...but I could try incorporating some of the food into my diet - thanks for the tip. The lowest I could go for a long period of time would be 150 calories I think, but even then I'd have to break the limit for Saturdays.

Kay: I'm not much better at fasting, this was my second or third successful time I think. And I've only done it for a day each time.

Cursum Perficio: I never stop thinking about food, regardless of fasting or not :P

Love,
Christie