Everything was going so well, and I had to go and fuck it all up by binging.
I'm so much bigger than I was this morning and it isn't usually this obvious.
What has gotten into me?
1447 calories.
A large pack of chips and two packs of M&Ms.
*slow clap*
I'm trying to be sarcastic here so that I can stop the self loathing for once. Apparently it isn't working.
On the positive side...what positive side?...I've tasted the peanut butter M&Ms, finally. I think these are the best ones - they're even better than the mint ones, and a lot of people who know me or have tasted my desserts will know that I'm really crazy about mint.
But still, I really shouldn't have binged, especially when my goal this week was supposedly not to binge. (it just occurred to me that I never post my goals here....so I will from now on. Idea was not originally mine - it was Emily's)
On the other positive side my calorie intake tomorrow would probably be lower than today's.
500 calories. No more slacking. I'm going to bring some prunes to school with me just in case I get hungry - and if I really crave a snack I could always go for milk caramels - they're only 100 calories per 7 pieces. The downside is that there are 14 pieces in a pack so I usually throw away half or give it to someone on the streets. They're really cheap though. Gosh I'm just radiating with optimism today.
Hello, overuse of italics.
My weight today was 109lbs. I hope I keep the weight although after today's crazy I doubt it. 110lbs hopefully, a small gain if any?
Today was an alright day. Mostly. I'm getting really tired of smiling - it feels like an obligation sometimes, or a way to keep my reputation, not that I have much of one. Some people think that I'm a really perky girl (which okay I seem to be sometimes) which I think is funny because all my life I've wanted to be a perky girl but I don't feel like one. Perky girls are usually pretty, and I'm not.
But there's also good news - there's this singing performance coming up in two weeks and I might or might not have to audition for it but I'll try my best because I'm really hyped for it. It's a business event that our school is joining and all the choir kids are asked to perform Amazing Grace and You Raise Me Up. I hope I could go.
Before I leave, here's an oldie - Downtown by Petula Clark, my favorite "old song". I love old songs but this one is really beautiful and soothing - even though I've never been downtown, since it's downtown pretty much everywhere here. I'm assuming downtown is referring to urban areas because there aren't really areas of "uptown" or "downtown" in Hong Kong.
Everyone seems sad today. Let's all cheer up tomorrow.
Love,
Christie
A large pack of chips and two packs of M&Ms.
*slow clap*
I'm trying to be sarcastic here so that I can stop the self loathing for once. Apparently it isn't working.
On the positive side...what positive side?...I've tasted the peanut butter M&Ms, finally. I think these are the best ones - they're even better than the mint ones, and a lot of people who know me or have tasted my desserts will know that I'm really crazy about mint.
But still, I really shouldn't have binged, especially when my goal this week was supposedly not to binge. (it just occurred to me that I never post my goals here....so I will from now on. Idea was not originally mine - it was Emily's)
On the other positive side my calorie intake tomorrow would probably be lower than today's.
500 calories. No more slacking. I'm going to bring some prunes to school with me just in case I get hungry - and if I really crave a snack I could always go for milk caramels - they're only 100 calories per 7 pieces. The downside is that there are 14 pieces in a pack so I usually throw away half or give it to someone on the streets. They're really cheap though. Gosh I'm just radiating with optimism today.
Hello, overuse of italics.
My weight today was 109lbs. I hope I keep the weight although after today's crazy I doubt it. 110lbs hopefully, a small gain if any?
Today was an alright day. Mostly. I'm getting really tired of smiling - it feels like an obligation sometimes, or a way to keep my reputation, not that I have much of one. Some people think that I'm a really perky girl (which okay I seem to be sometimes) which I think is funny because all my life I've wanted to be a perky girl but I don't feel like one. Perky girls are usually pretty, and I'm not.
But there's also good news - there's this singing performance coming up in two weeks and I might or might not have to audition for it but I'll try my best because I'm really hyped for it. It's a business event that our school is joining and all the choir kids are asked to perform Amazing Grace and You Raise Me Up. I hope I could go.
Before I leave, here's an oldie - Downtown by Petula Clark, my favorite "old song". I love old songs but this one is really beautiful and soothing - even though I've never been downtown, since it's downtown pretty much everywhere here. I'm assuming downtown is referring to urban areas because there aren't really areas of "uptown" or "downtown" in Hong Kong.
Everyone seems sad today. Let's all cheer up tomorrow.
Love,
Christie
Peanut butter M&Ms are the tastiest candy I have ever eaten. I don't think I've ever tasted ANYTHING that good.
ReplyDeleteYour binge today wasn't even bad! Actually, it was a normal calorie intake someone your age and size should be consuming, a little on the low side even, if that makes you feel any better.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I secretly love your sarcasm.
Here's a GIF on your thoughts about your intake today.....
http://replygif.net/i/628.gif
It made me laugh.
Hope your day gets better<3
bloating unfortunately, my dear. bloating.
ReplyDelete^i'm with Kay for this one. i always believe that 1,500 calories is like the minimum for someone that is still growing. i, unfortunately, have definitely stopped growing. i gained an inch a year ago, so i went from 5'1.something to 5'2.something (remeasured - i'm 5'2.5" so it's not really even an inch's difference between you and i and i'm 19. you might definitely end up taller than i!)
mint - i cannot stand mint. not at all. not the smell, the look, the taste. i don't know how anyone could like it but that's just me. also, pb m&ms...i think i tried those but didn't find anything amazing in them and that's me with my pb infused brain. maybe my love for Reese's is too much, but i don't know!
if you're radiating with optimism, then i must just about be the definition of optimism.
109lbs. i seriously cannot see how anyone could be 109 and be anywhere near fat. that's impossible. just a note.
you are pretty damn you.
speaking of tired, i am supposed to be asleep granted. i'm a little ill. and i've been hibernating instead of really "sleeping" per say. i can't seem to stay awake for more than 6-7 hours.
-Sam Lupin
M&M Crispys are the best, or crispy mint when they bring those out.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the audition. I've always been a crap singer.
I hope you feel better soon. You deserve so much better than beating yourself up for eating some chips and choccy.
<3
xx