TW: I want to feel pretty

I know I haven't been blogging again, sorry guys. I'll try to comment more and blog more.

I have been gaining, and gaining, and gaining.
My weight lies between 114 and 115.

I've been eating so much it's a wonder I didn't gain more. Let's not talk about calorie levels.

I've been having mood swings lately - I'm either really depressed or really giddy.

I had a debate match on Friday - my first time - and like most inter-house activities I hated every fucking minute of me. This ridiculous hatred of inter-house activities is puzzling - I hope I won't feel the same way about cheerleading or singing, but I really don't know. I used to love dodgeball as well and look what it's done to me.
I didn't know I would be going against people I knew. That freaked me out. I was the second speaker of the proposition - stuck between the first speaker of the opposition who was my intelligent and friendly drama classmate and their second speaker, who was my friend and two years older than me - he also had a love of being dramatic and smug.
I was trembling too much and I stuttered too much and I was just a plain disappointment. I could see it on the faces of my teammates. I wanted to cry.
We won, in the end, because we were lucky. The judge told us that we only won because of luck. And he did point out that I was very nervous.

I'll take laxatives tonight. Just four, no biggie.

My rashes have been healing. Good.

Not much else happened in my life.

I've missed this community of bloggers and I think I'm going to drop in more.
Then again I say that all the time, don't I?

Cursum Perficio: I'd be glad to have them gone, as harsh as it may sound.
I'm sure the glasses would look good on you!

Avy: Trying to, dear. How are you?

Love,
Christie