Tuesday, October 14, 2014

TW: Quite a bit

I've gained quite a bit of weight.
This is embarrassing.

I'm at 114 pounds now. My fault, all my fault.

I apologize for being off for a little while, not being here for y'all. I'm back now.

I had 700 calories+ today and 1200+ yesterday so for the next three days I'll be having -200 calories?
Good luck with that.

I'll be making a separate non-TW post later. About non-TW things. Happy things. Sad things. Happier things that aren't related to my weight.

I feel sad about my body.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
Many times over I said that I'd try and I failed.
*shrugs* I don't suppose trying again could hurt.

I was surprised yesterday to find out that my paternal cousin, who I actually wasn't very close with (she is nineteen - twenty maybe? She always smiled a lot) had depression, and had it since she was fifteen. I'm sorry to hear that. She always seemed cheerful to me. I was pretty pissed off that my parents joked about it. My mother explained to me that it was their way of being positive. Well, fuck being positive.

Love,
Christie

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin expect. Sometimes it's the people you least expect.
    I joke about my mental health issues with my family because it is our way of coping, but it's different when others joke about someone else :-/
    Please don't let a few pounds get you down. You're beautiful and precious just as you are.

    <3
    xx

    ReplyDelete