Sometimes I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone and I'm just so sick of it.
Sometimes my best just isn't enough.
Sometimes I want to kill myself so much it scares myself.
Sometimes I think it's pathetic that I'm such a monster that I'm scared of myself.
I'm sorry for the stupid rant.
I refused to enter my food diary today because the number is over 800 and that would probably make me more upset than I am already.
Today's weight was at 110lbs. I hope it doesn't go up. I'd even be content if it stays the same tomorrow. Just don't go up.
My mood started out actually pretty well today but it progressively got worse.
I'm sorry that this is such a short and depressing post but I don't really feel like doing anything now and I've still got 500 words of Chinese waiting for me. Another 500 tomorrow.
I leave you with Breathe Me by Sia, this song is excellent.
I will reply to everyone's comments tomorrow.
Love,
Christie
re: I wish I could be pale, but I'm more grey than and dead-looking than pretty. With a tan I at least look alive :P
ReplyDeleteAre you feeling better today?
ReplyDeleteI can assure you that you're not a disappointment. You work hard and you have a very caring heart. Besides, you have your whole life to impress other people! Spend some time just worrying about yourself.