Friday was Teacher's Appreciation Day.
It went relatively well for the first four hours - I gave gifts and cards to my favorite teachers, took a couple photos, etc. They all seemed pretty glad to receive them, so I hope nothing went wrong there.
And then everything went wrong. In the middle of the year party (basically a pot luck lunch thing) I started crying so I ran off to an empty classroom and continued to cry for half an hour. I don't know what came over me. It was probably a mixture of things. But it was the worst feeling and I can't stop the crying, my thoughts kept overwhelming me and the whole breakdown was horrible.
On another note I have blown up like a balloon. My weight is at 116...117 pounds? it's around that mark and I should start watching my weight again. I've sorta been a little loose with myself.
I also love sugar free Ricola and I know it's unhealthy but it's nice to chew on and it has the laxative effect. Which reminds me that my lax pills expire in September so I have to use them up before then :/
I will reply to comments/comment on everyone's blogs tomorrow. My parents are making me sleep early :( and threatening to confiscate my laptop if not.
Love,
Christie
i'm sorry, sweetie. sounds like you might be clinically depressed. because i know that feeling. a friend called it a panic attack, but my panic attacks are different then those. this is not panic. this is sheer, can't-stop-crying thinks-about-things-that-don't-matter sort of breakdowns. i'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteyou should be. you're young, and you're going through a time right now. it's okay. you've been struggling. things have been terrible. things have been up and down. it's fine.
oh, sweetie.
i hope you smile today. :)
-Sam Lupin
comment reply:
ReplyDeletei also found out about the dinosaur by accident.
ice-cream > everything. Ben and Jerry's > everything.
hmm. i think chocolates, i'm back on the Lindor truffle train. i think the last time i was obsessed with KitKats was a few years ago. i adored the pb KitKat, but oh, the caramel ones are nice too!
i don't believe Lindt's calorie count is higher by a lot. for 100g of Lindt (a whole bar), you get about 550 calories. for around 50g it's 275. here, a caramel KitKat is around 50 grams and is 260 so... +15 calories.
Lindt chocolate doesn't sway me. the truffles though are different. they're very chocolate-y.
you're very cute! i don't like my fanfiction at all. most of them i loathe, but it's nice to see that you like them. ;)
-Sam Lupin
it's fine. i am a bit so and so...and as far as i'm concerned, it's not that neuroanatomy isn't interesting. at the moment, it's so new and surprising that it's difficult. i have no idea where to look at. all of it seems strange and too much.
ReplyDeletemy BMI is about a curved 24,2 (curved because i'm a bigger frame so i carry a higher weight more proportionately so i have to actually take off 10% of the BMI). my doctor said so as well. many moons ago when i visited one.
i suggest you bring it up with the psych. sounds exactly like how i break down when i am depressed. sometimes, there's no reason for it. it just happens. i have days where i sometimes wake up, crying before i even register that i'm alive. funny how that goes.
sweetie, i hope you're not abusing those laxatives. you're so much better than that. honestly.
i, too, miss Ben and Jerry's. i'm so hungry now i can eat a goat, but i have to go to bed soon so sad things.
peanut butter KitKats are brill, but now, all KitKats are a bit meh to me. maybe one of these days i'll go back to them. now, i'm on a Snickers binder. they're slowly becoming a staple. i've got Mars bars, Snickers, Lion, Aero and Lindor truffles for chocolate fixes. oh and 3 mini Boost bars.
"Oh, I've never tried Lindt truffles. I'll see if they sell those here" they are so rich. i don't like Lindt chocolates anymore but the truffles. i see them as almost sexual! they're usually in a box sold around the Lindt chocolates usually on the top. they're an assorted box here so i usually get those. my favourite ones are the white ones because i love white chocolate.
i do this thing where i break off half of one and half of another and smush them together. so i start off with something like a dark chocolate base, and then move onto white chocolate. it's incredible.
"Your fanfiction is brilliantly written, dear. A few of my friends have also started reading some of your fics." this made me smile so bad you have no idea!
-Sam Lupin