I just realized my CW is higher than when I was in Australia.
Weight is at 115lbs.
Cal intake today: Ham and cheese sandwich (200), 1/2 chocolate chou cake (60), cocoa powder (60), malkist crackers (120), apple (50), condensed milk (368), smoked salmon (50), rice (56), veg (16), dried seaweed (10) and a total of 997 calories. Shameful.
The condensed milk and cocoa powder was a result of my attempt at making a little chocolate icing. It turned out to be more syrupy.
And yes, I ate it.
I know, I know.
I'm debating on whether to take laxatives again. I only have a small supply left and that shit is expensive as fuck though. Not to mention I'd not know where to buy them in HK. They're senna tablets, by the way, if that makes any difference.
Or maybe I should fast...but I've only really fasted twice successfully, I usually end up binging...
Everyone is losing weight but me and I should be ashamed. Fuck that, I am ashamed.
I've had a funny day yesterday. I just suddenly became really depressed after French class...maybe it's just the night. I'm usually happy, because French class is amazing, but yesterday it felt like a hangover after getting high. I dunno I hope it's just me yesterday.
Okay, for the happy things in life...it was someone important's birthday this week and Letitia and I made her brownies. I hadn't had a chance to try them but I heard from someone else that they were good. Although Letitia said they were too sweet.
And I went to watch A Midsummer's Night Dream performed by the troupe from the Globe. It was spectacular. Very comedic.
Thinspo time because I really need some.
She's so perfect. I know it's a change from the bony types that I like but she's so statuesque. Like Bella? (Dear, don't be offended that was meant as a compliment, you're thinner than her though...)
Love,
Christie
breathe in, beauty. there's nothing wrong with 115lbs!
ReplyDeletethat doesn't sound like much. it sounds random, but in the end of the day, it definitely does not sound like much at all. then again - perhaps, it's just random to me!
oh, so that's what that was for. and hey, it doesn't sound bad at all. shhhhh
i'm not all for you using laxatives. I am absolutely addicted to them. of course Im not using them as regularly as previously but they are fairly addictive. it's hard to wean myself off them. and all they really do is make you lose water weight. really.
not everyone. i'm not if that makes a difference. x
it sounds like you've been having a busy life currently, hmm?
take care sweetie.
-Sam Lupin
I had to google 'chou cake'. Do you mean like choux pastry, like a profiterole or eclair?
ReplyDeleteOkay, let's talk about icing/frosting.
Do you have icing sugar/powdered sugar? If not, you can make it by putting 1 cup of granulated sugar and 1 tbsp of cornstarch (it could also be called cornflour or maize starch) in a blender/food processer/coffee grinder.
You can just mix it with a little bit of hot water (or even juice), maybe a little butter/margarine, and a little cocoa powder if you want.
A good frosting alternative is getting a tub of spreadable cream cheese and just stirring some normal sugar/sweetener, vanilla, and maybe some cocoa powder through. (Normal cream cheese frosting is beating a solid block of cream cheese with butter, then copious amounts of icing sugar)
I cannot in good conscience give you advice on where to but laxatives. I would avoid laxatives at all costs, senna or otherwise. Honestly, I take fiber supplements every morning, and I rarely need laxatives anymore. Sometimes I get the urge to take them to drop some water/waste weight, but it's not worth the disappointment when your body rehydrates. They just don't work for weight loss, and when you keep taking them you end up way more bloated and holding in to more water anyway, not to mention the fact you can't go without them, you may 'go' without intending to, and the idea of wrecking your bowel and ending up with a colostomy bag... Sorry to go on the offensive, but if anything I say can help one person *not* get sucked into the trap of laxatives, it's worth it.
xx
P.S, I don't know about offensive... but any comparison being made is pretty triggering for me. Sorry, I wasn't going to say anything but it's kinda stuck with me all day.
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